Undefined Randomness from the Cheesecake of Darkness

Spies and Vikings

Its been an age since I purchased any new books. My e-reader is pretty full and I am slowly working my way through the backlog. There are however a couple of upcoming titles  which I am very keen to get my hands on and will have to go old school a buy paper copies of both.

Mark Chadbourn's The Sword of Albion will hit the shelves soon and as I've got all his other books it seems likely I'll buy this one as well. Spies in Elizabethan England - oh yes I think so.

I am also really looking forward to Wolfsangel by MD Lachlan. I've heard lots of good things and so will be rushing out to buy once it is released into the wild. Vikings! Yeah I'll have me some of that. Hmmm when it comes to Vikings you do have to go some to top this though......

  
Consider the gauntlet well and truly laid down Mr Lachlan, good luck sir! Full Led Zepplin inspired goodness can be located here.

B-Movieathon

Even shite movies deserve some love. When I was a teenager I amassed a vast collection of B-Movies. I went though a phase where the longer or sillier the movie title the more interested I was in viewing it. How could you not love Class of Nuke'Em High Part II: Subhumanoid Meltdown?

Not long ago I realized a lot of the so called 'mainstream' stream films I've been watching were missing the sense of silly fun that comes with a good B-Movie. I decided it was time to get back in touch with my B-movie roots. I’ve purchased the following from Amazon and I await it's arrival in the next couple of weeks.


That's right peoples a 12 disc B-Movie boxed set. Hell Comes to Frogtown, The Stuff (come on who wouldn't love a film about a rampaging yogurt?) Elvira: Mistress of the Dark, Night of the Living Dead. The list just keeps throwing out gems. Return of the Killer Tomatoes - you have to appreciate the joy of this. People need to know that one of George Clooney's first movie roles is about killer fruit.

'But Pablo' you cry 'B-Movies are laughably bad'. You are essentially right but lets not forget the heartwarming story of Mr P Jackson. I'm sure some of you may have seen the Lord of the Rings trilogy but would that exist, or indeed be as good, without the bugnuts insane delights of his earlier work? I demand you go now and seek out Bad Taste, Braindead and Meet the Feebles. Once you've viewed all three then we'll talk.

Gadget Envy

Mrs Cheesecake got a new phone recently. She is not a great fan of touchscreen tech so instead got herself a Crackberry 8900. I have to admit that even though it's not the smart phone I would buy for myself I do find it quite a neat little bit of techno-wizardry. I still have 12 months to go before I can get a new phone so I must gaze on enviously as she tweets and msgs effortlessly.

Till next time. Don't you go changin.

Cheesecake Out

Pablo Cheesecake vs The Third Dimension

Lets set some parameters for this blog. For starters  - I love film. All of it. Even the shit ones that no one else particularly appreciates. (I’m looking at you Rabid Grannies, Rollerblade Warriors, Blood Sucking Pharaohs in Pittsburgh etc). I’ve always kinda been of the belief that every movie deserves to be loved. Why not. People invest a lot of their time, energy and creativity in an effort to entertain the masses. Good on them I say. Long may it continue.


Recently however I have noted a worrying trend.  I’m concerned that this will effect my enjoyment of something I love dearly. What, I here you cry, could illicit such a reaction from the normally docile Mr Cheesecake? I’ll tell you, just two alphanumerics in a movie title…..3D.

Now before I continue lets get one thing straight. I don’t hate all 3D films. Avatar blew my tiny little mind. I expect Tron Legacy to do exactly the same.  The key thing about the use of 3D in both these examples as that it’s used by the directors to enhance the visual style of each film. The extra depth enhances the experience. I get that and I consider it perfectly valid.

The sort of thing I have a problem with is things like. U2 in 3D, The Jonas Brothers in fecking 3D. Why do cinema goers have to be subjected to such shite. If your interested in seeing U2 or indeed The Jonas Brothers go to a fucking concert.

I’m also worried that films are getting made in 3D just for the hell of it. I heard that the last couple of Harry Potters are in going to be in 3D. For the love of great goggly moggly WHY! The previous films didn’t require an sort of enhancement like that to hold an audiences attention so why do it now?

3D has prompted great debate at Cheesecake Towers. I am my usual unsure and slightly sceptical self while Mrs Cheesecake has embraced this new technology wholeheartedly. She does agree however that 3D is not necessary for all genres but does consider it inevitable as it’s all about the dollar dollar.

Who knows where we’ll be in a couple of years? The Chinese have a curse. “May you live in interesting times” I guess currently for movies it is just that….Interesting.

A slightly unsure Cheesecake

The Wolfman

Yesterday was a busy old day. Two movies at the cinema and then a comedy gig at a local theatre.

The first film we saw was The Wolfman. Directed by Joe Johnston this is an update of the 1941 film which starred Lon Chaney Jr. In this version Benicio Del Toro takes the lead role supported by Anthony Hopkins, Hugo Weaving and Emily Blunt.

The film really looks splendid, loads of attention to the small details. The costumes are all great and the scenery is suitably gothic and creepy. Filmed on location in Surrey, Buckinghamshire and Derbyshire

One of the things I particularly liked was the effects work for the Wolfman himself. Rick Baker is responsible and does a great job. The Wolfman makeup is very similar to the 40s version and it works really well. Rick Baker was responsible for the excellent werewolf effects in An American Werewolf in London and he still hasn't lost his touch.

One of the personal highlights of the film for me was Hugo Weaving's moustache. It was spectacular and not a hair out of place. I think I was just jealous.

The film movies at a reasonable pace and the ninety minute run time fairly zips by. Good news as well for all you gorehounds out there as the Wolfman rips many a cast member into small pieces. There are torsos, limbs and heads getting flung about all over the place.

Mr Cheesecake (of The Yard)

Ninja Cheesecake – Another bloody movie review

I’m done with vampires. I’ve had it up to here with zombies. Werewolves are so last year.You can shove your pirates up your arse. 2010 should be the year of the ninja. Like every other movie fad in recent memory it would appear that the ninja is now due for a comeback.

Ninja Assassin is incredibly silly. There is no getting around that fact but good news it’s also incredibly gory. There are limbs, heads and various other body parts all over the feckin place. The story is pretty run of the mill but the action….oh the action is just great. To give you an example I don’t think I have ever seen characters fight in on coming traffic so realistically before.

Produced by the Wachoski Brothers the film does have hints of the Matrix about it . There is some nice slow-mo action going on and the way the throwing stars are visualized is very cool.

The end of the film kind of reminded me of Deadliest Warrior. Ninjas vs Government troops with machine guns. Who will win?

It was also great to see Shô Kosugi in the film. I still remember Nine Deaths of a Ninja and The Master from when I was just a nipper back in the 80s.

Stick to the Shadows

The Cheesecake Assassin

Avatar – A Cheesecake’s view

As a preface to this blog I would like to point out that this has taken me the best part of a month to write. I normally rattle of my thoughts about a movie I've seen within about a day or two of seeing the thing. This time things have been slightly different. I did say a couple of weeks ago I would get around to posting my thoughts so here goes. I had to think about this for quite a while before I put pen to paper, so to speak. 

Avatar

 
I liked Avatar. I liked it a lot. In fact after careful consideration I might even love it? Don't panic I'm not going to go all Twilight creepy on your ass. Allow me to try and clarify. Over the years I have seen a lot of films. Of those hundreds of films there are a select band that I will happily watch again. Within that group there are a lucky few that I love. Films that I have watched so many times they are like old friends.


Let me try and put my feelings into some sort of context. Do you remember the first time something really and truly blew your mind? Something that you knew was special. Something that was going to have an impact.

I still do. 

Using my time machine let me take you back to 1978.  Twice that year a mini-Cheesecake was taken to the cinema by his family. Each time the result was the same. The lights went out and after the obligatory ads and trailers the film began. In each case the heady mix of the rousing score and the mind bending visuals had an effect. Even now some 32 years later every time I hear both pieces of music the hairs on the back of my neck stand up. I didn't realise it at the time but both movies in question were going to be a global phenomena. I believe the phrase du jour is 'game changer'. Of course I'm talking about Star Wars: A New Hope and Superman. I'm sure you had already guessed. Both are still as fresh and exciting today as they were then. They still evoke strong emotions from viewers. People still endlessly quote lines, recall their favourite scenes and debate plot points.

I believe, in the future, Avatar will fall into the same category. I've seen it twice and as I said before loved it from beginning to end both times. In my defence I should stress I am a ragging sentimentalist at heart. I also love nothing better than pure unadulterated escapism. The scope, the spectacle, the rush of sight and sound. It's all there.

'Fuck you Pablo'  the detractors will say. 'The story borrows liberally from Fern Gully and Pocahontas'. In fairness they are probably right, but who cares. James Cameron knows how to deliver what an audience wants. The other thing that needs to be highlighted is that the obvious quality and attention to detail of this film. It will force others to raise their game. People will want more of this I can guarantee it. Cameron has spent years developing new technology in order to film the thing. He's made the environment seem very real and all that hard work shines through.

*Spoiler Alert* 

The thought just popped in my head. Why does Michelle Rodriguez die in every film she's in? 

*End Spoiler*

Since I started writing this news stories have appeared stating that there will be another two films set in the same universe. I look on with interest. Can Cameron give use even more? Hopefully we wont have to wait 12 years for the next installment.

Live and direct from Pandora

Mr C

Films I can’t live without

This afternoon I was busy working and listening to my iPod. As is often the case a random thought just popped into my noggin. I often blog about films I’ve seen recently but don’t often revisit my favourites. I thought I would try to establish a list of 10 films that make my life better and also try to explain why. I should add a note at this point that the list is in no particular order.

1. Krull – The theme to this film always cheers me up. I can’t explain why it just makes me smile. Regular readers will know that I am a sucker for good music. That and part of me really would like a flying horse, fuck who wouldn’t.
2. Who Dares Wins – If testosterone was collected from every action star to grace the silver screen, distilled, dried and reconstituted as celluloid the resultant film would not be as action pack as this eighties gem.
3. Brazil – I work in an office, I will always work in an office. I have made my peace with the universe regarding this. Mr Gilliam helped.
4. The Dark Knight – I read comics. This is the best comic book based film I have ever seen.
5. Saturday Night Fever – Sometimes when I walk down the street in my head I’m Tony Monero. I don’t care who knows it!
6. Aliens – I like Alien but I love Aliens. Game over man
7. The Long Good Friday – Best Gangster film ever. Gritty as fuck and all the better for it.
8. The Italian Job – I cannot convey in words what this film means to me. It warms my heart every time. 1969 brought the world this film and my soulmate.  Best year ever.
9. Flash Gordon – If this film was a dairy product it would be cheese.  It is a beautiful explosion of sight and sound….oh and Brian Blessed is in it.
10. It’s a Wonderful Life – you know…it is.

Quick to the living room and lets slip one of these beauties on!
Mr C

Cirque Du Cheesecake: The Vampire’s Assistant

The second film this week was Cirque Du Freak. Now before I get started on the film I should be honest and admit I have read The Saga of Darren Shan. I liked it and read it all the way to the end. No small accomplishment when your talking 12 books.

I went into the film realising that there had to be changes made for a movie version to work. Some other reviews I have read have been very dismissive of the film due to these differences. What do I think? You know what fuck em. Books make for great source material for a movie but people have to expect changes. Reading is such a internal process. People envisage the story they read and everyone can have a different take. A film is always going to be another person’s vision of the material and I would guess likely to be different from your own.

I’m also not that bothered that the film is set in America. I thought I would be but I seem to recall the books were always pretty geographically indistinct anyway so no real issues there.

One thing I really enjoyed about the film was John C Reilly. He was great. I’ve seen him in other films but this is the first time I think I have seen him in anything as the main lead and I thought he was brilliant. Some of the other character seemed a bit two dimensional but Mr Reilly seemed to flesh out Larten Crepsley.

Also incredibly weird to see Salma Hayek with a beard (Talk about conflicting emotions!)

Will there be more Cirque? Probably. If it makes enough money. I would love to see to war between the Vampire and Vampaneze. Maybe one day?

Enough of this disjointed muttering.

I’m off

9

This week I was fortunate enough to get to see a double feature with Mrs Cheesecake. First off, based on the 2005 short film of the same name, 9 is a dark fantasy telling the story of life after humans.

The visual elements of this film are a real treat. Personally I feel sometimes that computer animation can be a bit to crisp but in this case there was a nice grungy quality will still being picture perfect.

Shane Acker directs and the voice cast includes Elijah Wood, John C Reilly, Jennifer Connelly, Crispin Glover and Christopher Plummer.

The film nips along at quite a pace and the seventy nine minutes are done before you know it. I, for one, would have liked to have see more.

Perhaps a bit scary for younger children but I think the rating of 12A was a bit extreme.

Till next time

toddle pip

Mr P Cheesecake Esq

Pablo Cheesecake : Competition winner

I won a competition. Little old me. I’ve never won anything in my life ever. I have to admit to being a little taken aback by the while thing. Now at the end of the day it was only a t-shirt but I still won it.

The good people at Last Exit to Nowhere produce the best film related merchandise on the planet. All of their designs are inspired by all the fictional companies and businesses from the movies. I won a quiz they ran on Twitter (@lastexitshirts) and they have let me choose a free t-shirt of my choice. I went for Central Services (the faceless bureaucracy from Terry Gilliam’s epic Brazil). Anyone that knows me will no I am slightly obsessed by this film. I have the theme as the ringtone on my mobile phone.

This is just a little bloggerette as I have three reviews to write for my latest cinema visits. I just want to share my good fortune.

Till later

Smugger than normal

Mr C

Cheesecake Salvation

Cover of Clash of the Titans

The weather today was truly fucking atrocious. At one point Mrs Cheesecake and I were in the car and we could hardly see where we were going. Fortunately we go to the flicks so often the car can almost drive itself there. We did get pretty wet and now I'm sniffly but these are the lengths that Team Cheesecake will go to to ensure the films you want to see continue to get watched. I like to think we are providing a public service.

Terminator Salvation is pretty good. Christian Bale is acceptable as John Connor. Anton Yelchin makes for a convincing Kyle Reese and I think Sam Worthington is a name to watch. Role on the Clash of the Titans remake. As frequent readers know (I'm know your out there) I don't like to delve into plots to much. No spoilers round here Mrs! There are a couple of nice nods to previous Terminator movies. The Govenator does make a guest appearance and I reckon there is a good chance it this makes enough money we will see more of the same.

I've heard people say that the films not up to much. McG is not really a massively respected director is he? Probably something to do with dicking around with only one name like Bono or Sting. In saying that I've seen worse. The sound in particular was quite something. At one point my whole body was vibrating due to the amount of bass used.

In other news I heard a rumor the other day that Brian Blessed is potentially going to be in the big screen version of Thor. Specifically playing Odin. I for one think this would be just about fucking perfect. Seriously can you imagine him bellowing "THOR'S ALIVE!!!". Flash Gordon is one of my favorite movies of all time and a lot of that has to do with his work as Prince Vultan.

Well it looks about time for some dinner. I see pizza on the horizon shortly.

Till next time. Dont play with it, it will drop off.

Cheesecake out

Top Five Films

This afternoon I have been thinking about my favourite things. Specifically I was trying to decide what my top five movies of all time are? Difficult question I know. I have seen a lot of films over the years and a large majority of them were utter shit. Not that I wouldn't watch them again, I have very little in the way of good taste (You should see my wardrobe).

Anyway back to the topic at hand. What are my top five movies? Please note that these are not in any particular order of merit as I coldn't make that decision if my life depended on it.

(1) The Italian Job (1969) - A long time ago in a galaxy far, far away Britain was very cool. The comedic nonsense in this is classic. Ignore the remake in 2003 that was just an excuse to advertise the new Mini. Best cliffhanger ever!

(2) 300 (2006) - Visually this is a real treat. A feast for the eyeballs. Good story, top action and a fantastic use of modern technology to bring something to the screen that had never been seen before. A graphic novel brought to life. In my head I have abs like that.

(3) Aliens (1986) - I like Alien a lot. It's atmospheric, distressing, unsettling and creepy but I think Aliens is a better movie. I'm one of these people that constantly ponder what happens to a character after the film, of for that matter book, ends. Aliens delivers that answer and more to the point it does it well.

(4) Akira (1988) - With the exception of poorly dubbed cartoons that I used to watch during the summer holidays this was my first exposure to anime and manga. Not only does it still look fantastic over twenty years on but the story is pretty good too.

(5) The Lord of the Rings (2001-2003) - Ok so I may have cheated slightly in that my final choice is three rather than one film but c'mon it has to be seen as a whole. The beauty of it all is that it can be summed up in one word. Epic

So there you have it. Five gems from the silver screen. You may not agree with them all but hey it's my blog so I guess it's my choice. In fairness however there is a good chance that the list could change depending on my mood, the weather and a whole host of other factors.