Wednesday, August 24, 2011

Trousers, Tattoos and Terror

The Curious Case of the Brown Trousers

When it comes to fashion I am a bit of a one trick pony. I like black jeans or black combats, if I am feeling whimsical khaki green at a push. Last weekend, in a fit of pique, I decided I was going to break with tradition and try something new. In a moment of craziness I purchased a pair of brown trousers. They haven't arrived yet but I have been fretting about them ever since. What possessed me into this random act of fashion rebellion? For years I have been comfortable with my style (or indeed lack there of). I am still genuinely unsure if I will be able to where these when they do show up. The last time a tried something different, a pair of beige combats as I recall, my young nephew threw up on me and them. (Pureed sweet potato if your curious. Turns out bright orange is not a great accent colour in this case). More on this as the story develops.

The Great Tattoo of the Deep

Last week Mrs Cheesecake got some new ink. She is now the proud owner of a wolf paw print on the back of her neck. Jolly good it looks to. I am once again jealous. She has a number of other ideas and I look forward to them appearing over the fullness of time. In all honesty my tattoos are a  bit lame and I am going through a phase of being slightly embarrassed by their crapiness. This did make me think about remedying the situation and so I started looking for ideas. I want to really go for it. Something striking and memorable. Something that I will be proud to be seen with for the rest of my life. After much research I have come to the following conclusion. I want something similar to this.

Cthulhu tattoo design moch up by chrislazzer
Isn't it stunning. I really, REALLY like this. Now we come to the problem. I was talking to the tattooist about getting a sleeve done and it takes quite a long time (well I suppose that is fair enough. I mean you'd want a good job wouldn't you) but it also costs quite a bit. Hmmm I'm not the best at saving my pennies. Roughly we are talking about 20hrs work at around £70 an hour. Do the math. Not exactly cheap is it. Would anyone like a kidney? Can I interest you in a slightly used spleen? If an eccentric billionaire happens upon this post I wouldn't say no to accepting your charity. I won't do anything kinky in return though. Well not too kinky anyway.

A Cheesecake The Goes Bump in The Night

Over the last couple of years I have developed a rather strange habit. If I sit an watch a horror film before I go to bed I will almost always have a bad dream. This in turn leads to me waking up in a blind panic. For example when I watched the Japanese version of The Ring I woke up later that night screaming. As I am sure you can no doubt appreciate Mrs Cheesecake poor nerves were somewhat frayed by this experience. On another occasion I have woken up, confidently explained there is either (a) someone in the house or (b) at the window. After which I immediately fall back to sleep. Mrs Cheesecake is not a massive fan of that either. Probably the weirdest one of all was the night I shouted "HOOTERS!!!" in my sleep. In that particular instance I do still maintain I was having a dream about clowns. Sleep and the sub-concious mind are a real enigma and I am constantly perplexed by the whole thing. The outcome of this new habit - no horror before bedtime. Damn shame as part of me really enjoys a good horror movie.

Sleep Tight

El Diablo Cheesecake


Wednesday, August 17, 2011

Pablo Cheesecake vs The Summer Blockbusters of 2011

I'm an avid movie-goer. I love the experience of viewing entertainment on a screen so huge that it fills my entire field of vision. For me cinema is all about escapism. Tell me a story, entertain me, take me me away from trails and tribulations of real life for a short while. I was think about it earlier today and it seems that this summer all the big blockbusters are all essentially about exactly the same thing.

Please don't keep us in suspense Pablo - tell us dammit .

Ok seeing as you asked so politely, and there was no swearing, I shall. This year's crop of summer blockbusters are all about…….drum roll please…….. how fucking great America is. 

Now I should stress before I go any further that I am a fan of the US of States and this is merely an cinematic observation on my part. That said everything your read here is true....probably.

Exhibit A - Captain America

Ok. I admit this was an obvious first choice. I also have to admit that in all honesty I can't give this one too much of a hard time. It was wonderfully done and by the final credits I was ready to join The Howling Comandos myself. There is no doubt this was all about the flag waving rampant patriotism but it was done extremely well. Fuck it...bring on The Avengers!

Captain America yesterday


Exhibit B - Super 8

Another example of Americana done terribly well. Who better than J.J. Abrahams and Steven Spielberg to provide a big old slice of late 70s nostalgia. Everything is wonderfully observed and the performances from the young leads were pitch perfect. Every scene offers a glimpse of the American suburbs at their best. I don't doubt this will become a bit of a classic.

Exhibit C - Cowboys and Aliens

Oh for fuck sake....Cowboys...... Do I have to spell it out to you? 

and finally..... Transformers 3: Dark Side of the Moon 

This is the one that really sent me a bit insane.

Michael Bay and his American tough guys chums,  oh and Shia LeBeouf, kick the living crap out of giant robots with the assistance of other giant robots. It felt sort of like a two and half hour ad for signing up to the military. I can imagine Mr Bay sitting about in his Hollywood mansion pondering ideas and thinking 'well we've had every branch of the US Forces in the first two films. How are we going to top that? I've got it.  Lets throw fucking astronauts into the mix!'

I swear to God at one point, toward the end of the film, when everyone was wistfully looking around at all the devastation that had been caused to the streets of Chicago I thought that this was going to happen*


*I also have to admit a certain amount of disappointment when it didn't. 

Transformers 3 is firmly at number one on my list of the least subtle films of all time. On the plus side though all the explosions were all awfully pretty.

Till another time, most likely in the future.

I'm Pablo Cheesecake, you're not.

Fuck Yeah!

Saturday, August 6, 2011

Ka-Blogged!

A Treasure Trove

This afternoon Mrs Cheesecake and I were tidying out  a room and I happened across an old box full of random comics. In amongst all of the regular Marvel and DC fare there were a number of independent titles that I had forgot I owned.  Check these out

Fat Ninja Adolescent Radioactive

What can I say -  I went through a phase when I was a younger that the weirder something was the more I was interested in it. The results I believe speak for themselves. There are others as well but things just get weirder and weirder so perhaps I'll leave those for another time.

Captain America Fuck Yeah!

It would appear that there is a distinctly comic book related theme to this post. Tomorrow Mrs C and I are going to go and check out the latest Marvel movie offering. The trailer looked pretty cool. Chris Evans appears to be a good choice for the Cap. I have a sneaking suspicion that I will be jonesin for The Avengers at movie's end. Lets see shall we.

I am The Law*

Last week I received Marshal Law: Fear and Loathing , as a late birthday gift. If you haven't read this you should. This is a classic. Seek it out immediately. I demand you do this NOW!

Marshall Law

Seriously though this fucking rocks. It is well worth your time.

Never mind Dredd this is the future policeman you should be worried about. Alan Moore and Kevin O'Neill really do know their stuff.


To infinity and beyond!
Captain Cheesecake