Sunday, May 13, 2012

Cheesecake Assemble!


Welcome, Wilkommen & Bienvenue

It is entirely possible that you are a new follower of mine on one of the various social media networks that I inhabit. If that's true then it is also possible that you're only familiar with The Eloquent Page and not the roaming free form consciousness that is my Mid Life Crisis. Let me quickly explain. This is my personal blog for all stuff that isn't about books. Here I waffle about anything that takes my fancy. Things often get random and frequently degenerate into mindless rants. There are no rules, regular spelling mistakes are guaranteed (or you're money back) and you can also expect the grossest of crimes against the evil gods of punctuation.  

Still there?

Oh good. Lets see what has taken my fancy this week.

It's (NOT) The End of The World as We Know It


Typical isn't it. You get yourself all psyched up for the big one and then some archaeological snot comes along at says 'Nope, we were wrong all this time. The Mayan calendar will actually run for another 7000 years and the world isn't going to end this December 21st after all'. How disappointing is that? I've been stockpiling Pot Noodles and Ruffle Bars for months (I lied about the Ruffle Bars. Do they even make these anymore? I may start to stockpile them just for the hell of it. I bet they aren't as good as when I was a kid * starts to mutter about all this once being fields, jumpers for goalposts etc, etc*). 

Ruffle Bars. Fuck Yeah!


Back to my point (I’m sure I had one). Ahh yes, overall I am what you would call a trifle disappointed. I was looking forward to something involving mutants and perhaps a nice Mad Max 2 style motif. 

Oh well only just over seven thousand years to wait. I’ll see you there?

My First Multiple Joygasm


Yesterday Mrs C and I finally managed to catch a screening of The Avengers. For various reasons we have had to wait for two weeks since it came out. What can I say? Essentially I sat for the entire length of the film with a big dumb goofy grin on my face. It was wonderful. So much so that I had another one of my epiphanies that goes something like this. 

I'm working on the assumption that most, if not all of you, have at one time or another had an orgasm (fucking great aren't they? can't recommend them enough. If you haven't had one you really should get around to getting yourself one. They are awfully good. I digress.) In a similar vein there is what I like to call ‘the joygasm’. Now the joygasm is basically that brilliant moment when you are indulging in some activity you love (this can be anything as long as it is not sex) and you experience a moment of sheer unadulterated joy. For me it happens most often to me when I watch films. Here's a quick list of examples that always ensure I achieve a joygasm

    The moment Jonh Williams score for Superman begins
    Lewis Collins running down the hallway at the end of Who Dares Wins
    The faux happy ending and then the real ending of Brazil (I should note joygasms don't always have to come from an upbeat cinematic moment).
    The line "You killed my father. Prepare to die" from The Princess Bride
    Rowdy Roddy Piper in They Live.

So in a nutshell what I am saying is that each and everyone one of these things always makes me spectacularly happy. I won’t bore you with the reasons why just believe me when I say that they do.

Avengers was chock full of these perfect little moments. *BEWARE MINOR SPOILERS AHEAD* 

    The Helicarrier
    Hulk and Thor duking it out
    Agent Coulson saying goodbye
    The final battle
    The after credits scene
    Loki and The Hulk play rag doll


Avengers Casual Friday


I could so easily go on and on but I'll attempt to manfully rein my enthusiasm in. Suffice to say, this is, with out a doubt, the biggest spectacle of the year so far. I am in awe. More, I demand it now, immediately if not sooner. Hence the title of this little section of the post My First Multiple Joygasm. I beat you thought this bit was going to be all filthy didn’t you? You perv.

That There Training Malarkey


I had my first proper blip in my attempt to run 500k in 2012. Last week I over did it when weight training and managed to pull the muscles in my left arm. I ended up having to walk 5k and the gym for the next session as I couldn’t run. I was really annoyed at myself for such a simple mistake. I should have worked up to lifting heavier weights but instead I just over did it and paid the consequences. Lesson learned the hard way. I am glad to say that my arm is just about back to normal. Now if I can just get rid of this spectacular cold I have I should be ready to begin again, sensibly, on Tuesday. Here’s hoping.

Right enough of the random spouting. I’m off to save the world from itself. Until next time be excellent to each other and party on dudes! (Oh yeah, I’m kickin it old school).

Mr C