Bank Holiday Balderdash (now with added piffle)

expanding gastronomic horizons

I have uncovered a new taste sensation in the local supermarket. Ladies and gentlemen *drum roll* I give you the Port Royal Salt Fish Patty.

These rock! They are the best thing in the world ever. Hot and spicy, slightly smoked fish and chillies wrapped in pastry. They are Jamaican in origin and are epically moreish. Mrs Cheesecake is horrified by their smell and doesn’t like spicy foods so they are best described as a ‘solitary pursuit’. The humble Greggs sausage roll better watch its fucking back, that’s all I’m saying.

the bells, the bells

Yesterday afternoon while gardening I found a cat collar with a little bell on it. I figured it had come of one of nextdoor’s moggies so I popped it in my pocket with thoughts of returning it later. Needless to say within seconds I had gone back to what I was doing and forgotten entirely about the collar. Later, and for the rest of the day, I kept hearing a tinkling sound and every time I turned I expected to see a cat. By the end of the day I was beginning to question my sanity. You may not be surprised to discover that the collar is no longer in my pocket.

this is the end?

I have noticed a worrying trend of late. When I go to the cinema with Mrs Cheesecake I like to sit down with a medium diet coke and packet of Tooty Frooties.

Around 2hrs later, more often than not, I feel entertained and the diet coke has worked its magic so that my bladder is ready to explode. A swift exit is the thing most pressing on my mind. Why then must I sit an wait through ten minutes of credits just so I can get an extra two minutes of movie action? This happened during both films I saw on Saturday. Are you listening Hollywood! You shower of bastards! Stop with the extra scenes after the chuffing credits. Enough already. I demand that you cease and desist with all this foolishness. My bladder and I will be most grateful. This is not a cocking competition you know. Not every film has to have these little Easter Eggs for the intrepid few who manage to hold out.

With that in mind I have decided to add in extra content after the end of this post in order to keep people sat in front of their PCs for far longer than is necessary.

Till a time that is further in the future than now

Bye

Mr C

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Ta da! Extra content. Woo it really was worth the wait wasn’t it? No I didn’t think so either. I should stress the eyebrows aren’t real. Unfortunately everything else is.