Centurion

Before I start I have to admit there may be certain amount of bias in this blog.I have much love for Neil Marshall’s films.

Dog Soldiers was a brilliant werewolf flick. Loads of lovely nice dark humour. My brother-in-law, who is in the army, confirmed that the banter and actions of the squaddies were very realistic and well observed. Obviously with the exception of the fighting werewolves bit.

The Descent managed to scare the crap out of me and pisses on The Cave (which came out around the same time). Never seen night vision used more effectively for a scare before or since.

Doomsday is like the bastard son of Mad Max and is a hell of a lot of fun. It was nice to see Glasgow and particularly George Square/Queen St Station get trashed.

Today I sat down and watched Centurion. The story of the legendary Ninth Roman legion and how they went to the north of Britain to take out the Picts. As far as historic records are concerned the Ninth just disappeared without a trace. No one knows what really happened to them. Marshall has used this gap in the history books as the basis for the film.

Lots of familiar faces here. Michael Fassbender, Dominic West, Liam Cunningham, Noel Clarke and David Morrisey. Lots of violence as well. Blood and guts all over the place. Picts vs Romans makes for multiple beheadings.

I loved it all. The action was first rate. The scenery was stunning and the pace was just right. One for the blu-ray collection when available I think.

I read the other day that Neil Marshall will be directing a new version of The Professionals. To wet your appetite here is my first foray into the world of You Tube. Enjoy!

Now that I have started fannying around with Windows Movie Maker fuck knows what will appear on Ya Toob next. Perhaps something special for the two year anniversary of the blog?

Valete

Pablus Cheesecakeius

Tele-visual Shite, Haribo & Volcanoes

Random things that have caught my attention this week….

tv shite

Disappointed to discover that Auntie Beeb has pulled the plug on Survivors. It seems yet again that genre TV has had another kick in the teeth. The thing that annoys me most is that the second series ended on a fucking cliffhanger of all things.

Sci-Fi has become SyFy. God that makes me feel unclean just typing it. Some smart arse exec somewhere has decided that a perfectly acceptable channel name wasn’t sexy enough so a rebrand was in order. C’mon though SyFy. Sounds a bit wanky don’t you think. I’ve also noticed that they seem to be moving away from just sci-fi programming. In the US of States they have started showing wrestling. FFS I don’t have a problem with wrestling but on a science fiction channel?

On the plus side the new series of V started, after only 4 months of delay. Some of us did spot you were advertising it for January SyFy! No Marc Singer or Michael Ironside though.

haribo

I went to the cinema yesterday. I saw Cemetery Junction. Much as I wanted to not enjoy it (Gervais gets on my tits a bit) I couldn’t. It’s a good film and I would recommend you go see it. Perfectly captures the 70s. Breaking from tradition I purchased a bag of Haribo.While I was waiting for the film to start I read the ingredients. Have you ever read the ingredients on a packet of Haribo? Well have you? Some of the highlights include – beeswax, hibiscus and nettle. I kid you not. I still crave them mind you.

volcanoes

Eyjafjallajökull in Iceland erupted this week and has thrown air travel in Europe into utter chaos. Just goes to show that nature is ever unpredictable. I sort of like that. Should make us all more aware that we are but passengers on this little planet. That and volcanoes look really cool.




Till next time

Pyroclastic Cheesecake bids you farewell.

Gadget Show Live

I’m a gadget head. I love all tech, hardware, software and gadge. Last year I found out about the Gadget Show Live about a week before the event happened. Needless to say by that point the event was well and truly sold out so there was no point in even trying to attend. This year I was ahead of the game and got my tickets sharpish.

I’ve never been to the NEC before. In fact I’ve only ever been to Birmingham once and that was another lifetime ago. The place is like it’s own little city. It is fucking enormous. I reckon it took us about twenty minutes to walk from the the station to the hall where the show was taking place.

One of the first things we saw were these immense statues. On a side note does anyone have £3000 I can borrow? On the understanding you’ll never get it back.




Mrs Cheesecake and I had also purchased tickets to see the Supershow hosted by the Gadget Show’s very own Jason Bradbury, Suzi Perry, Ortis Deeley and John Bentley.



The Supershow was fantastic (it did help we were 3rd row from the front so got an amazing view). There were some great tech related challenges and the crowd were kept involved with all the goings on. We also managed to get a bit wet!



After the show we wandered around the exhibition. The one drawback to the whole thing I suppose was that it was INCREDIBLY busy. The crowds were everywhere. This did make it difficult to stop and actually view anything without either getting in someone’s way or someone getting in your way.
On our way out we ran into the 10th Doctor and friends. Damn Daleks get everywhere don’t they.

Pablo Cheesecake Kicks Ass

My final movie blog of the Easter weekend is Kick Ass. Someone on the interweb said that the Daily Mail would shit kittens over this one and I can see why. The film contains da da da “Adult Content”. You heard correctly folks there is violence,swearing, self abuse and self tan. They even use the c-word. I spotted it, more than once in fact, I am shocked to report that the word comics is mentioned.

All joking aside I wasn’t sure what to expect from this. I have enjoyed all of Matthew Vaughn’s previous films but comic books are very close to my heart and I was a little worried. It is fair to say that I feel this way about every comic book adaption that makes it’s way to the big screen and will continue to do so. (I’m looking at you Green Lantern, Thor, Iron Man 2 etc).

My worries appear to have been groundless. The film worked pretty well and the changes to the story made the characters seem a bit more fun. Those who have read the comic know that the hero doesn’t get the girl. He does in the movie version. Oh shit spoiler alert! Damn sorry.  Oh come on your only going to see the film if you know the book anyway aren’t you?

The cast were all good. I think Mark Strong and Chloe Moretz were exceptional.

Yes the film is violent. Yes the subject matter is undeniably silly but fuck it it’s only a movie.

Now where’s my lycra leotard? (if you knew me you would realise just how horrific a mental picture this actually is)

Captain Cheesecake

Clash of the Cheesecake

This Easter weekend we’ve managed 3 films. We saw How to Try your Dragon. See my 5 year old nephew’s review here. After he left we decided next on the list was the remake, re-envisioning, rebirth of Clash of the TItans.

What did I think. Well the film was pretty good. It all looked epic. Ancient Greece was all sandals and togas. Mt Olympus was armour and shininess.

I did have a couple of problems with the film though. Firstly the 3D was wholly unnecessary. I don’t actually recall any point where it enhanced my viewing pleasure. I believe the film wasn’t originally meant to be 3D and it was added as an afterthought. I just think it was a bit pointless. I am willing to accept that 3D is meant to be subtle but this was just done badly. Which is a shame.

My other issue - Sam Worthington’s hair. What the fuck is up with that. To a man every other male on screen had long hair and most of them had beards. Ancient Greece = Metallic audience. That’s all good but then along comes Sam with the feckin buzz cut. How in the blue hell did he manage that? Are there ancient magical hair trimmers that have been handed down to Perseus as a gift from the Gods? Part of me actually hopes that there is footage of him wearing a long haired wig that is so bad members of the film crew are rolling about on the floor pissing themselves. Now don’t get me wrong Mr Worthington rocks the buzz cut but Perseus does not. Check out Harry Hamlin to see how it should be done.
The supporting cast were all good. I particularly enjoyed Mads Mikkelsen and Liam Cunningham.

In summary then the film was ok but Sam Worthington’s anachronistic hair detracted from my enjoyment.

In fact I’m so angry now…….Release the Cheesecake!

How to Train Your Pablo Cheesecake

Yesterday Mrs Cheesecake and I had the pleasure of taking our 5 year old nephew, Nico (Unarmed and Dangerous), on his first trip to the cinema. We went to see How to Train Your Dragon in 3D. I told him that I would let him post a review on the internet of what he thought. See below for N(U&D)s insightful review. Not only that but his opinions of cinema in general.

His first reaction to the cinema was that he very much liked the giant television. When I asked him about the story of the film I got following response

"I did like the black dragon he was my favourite". As I said insightful.

Turns out that 5 year-olds don't really think much of the 3D experience either. He lasted about twenty minutes before the glasses came off.

I also don't think he was that bothered that the vast majority of ancient Vikings sounded suspiciously Scottish. Though he did claim later on that when he blows up the world we will all have to move to Scotland? and learn to speak Scottish.

Later

Toothless Cheesecake

PS I enjoyed the film but have no plans to blow up the world. The animation was great and I liked the characterisation of the Vikings and the dragons. Also I would quite like a beard like the head Viking had (To my knowledge the dragons had no facial hair)